Just WAIT til I think of something clever. THEN YOU'LL SEE

True (depressing)

Ryan Penguin, Canadian

This guy

I really didn’t expect to start my day by shitting my pants in laughter. The office doesn’t seem terribly pleased either.

 


The REAL Peter Pan

Prepare yourself children.

Remember when you were just a wee little kid, and you wanted Peter Pan to take you away to be together always? No? STOP JUDGING ME.


Either way, your wish can be answered, by one Randy Constan, internet entrepreneur extraordinaire, AKA Peter Fucking Pan. But don’t get your knickers in a twist ladies, he’s married.

“I’m 5 years old at heart, but the state of Florida says i’m 54.”

*sigh*. The good ones are always taken.

What does this vision of hope and purity contribute to the world? A better question: what doesn’t he do.

HA!

Fashion,

MEEE-oW

Charity fundraising,

Fuck Peter Pan, I'm calling you Santy Claws

MUSIC, which I haven’t the testicular fortitude to listen to all the way through,

Coding (ELFIN TECHNOLOGIES FOR LIFE),

And private appearances! WOA BOY I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING FOR MY BIRTHDAY

Just remember folks,

“All you need is faith and trust… and a little bit of pixie dust!” –Peter┬áPan

And possibly a restraining order


WOW…Stranger the Fiction man…real life…

Ah Valentines Day.

I'm just happy he has a girlfriend, whether or not she accepts. Shit, if he can get laid, theres hope for the rest of us

What if I'm single...? And does that mean James Gandolfini will fuck my wife..? She may like that, actually

First I couldn't chew gum out of it. Now I can drink? WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET WATER

And here I always thought toll booth operator was a shit job

I FUCKING LOVE BIKES !!!1!1

I FUCKING LOVE DIVING

Ok so...no chewing gum, no drinking, and no fishing out of toilets? I've officially lost all my sources of nutrition. THANKS JAPAN. Geez.

Oh god I...Oh god. RUN KITTEH RUN

THIS JUST IN. THERE WAS CAT. IT WAS PRETTY BIG CAT.

Undead father of the year

SATAN FAMILY

The kids name? Damian


PICTURE OVERLOAD PLZ TO ENJOY NAO

I'll never be able to touch myself the same way again

Another excellent meme

Its like fishing. Only...retarded

brokeback kitteh

I don't think thats what they mean by 'get the ladies'

HURRR DERP

GET DOWN FROM THERE ZEBRA. A GIRAFFE IS NOT A LADDER. IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE RUNGS.

And I will never be hard again

BUT ITS SO DELICIOUS

Sup Bro. Nothin, just chillin. On fire. You know.

SUPER PUN

A good night out, if you ask me

Why I will never be a good father


Booboo kills Yogi, or ‘How the Chipmunks movie shouldve ended’

I fucking hate these digital remakes of childhood classics.

Don’t go gently into that dark night, Yogi. Don’t.

 


Well shit…

Too soon? Maybe. Still funny.


Just remember, when the world gets you down, that no matter how hard you try you’re going to die. Alone.

I’ve seen this in various permutations around the net, but felt the need to give it a place here.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to cry in the bathroom


OM NOM NOM

There’s a reason so many stereotypes exist regarding southerners.

That reason?

Lets just say the beard wasn’t all he was eating. Seems like the man could do with a colon blockage.


All the answers

As a manager one expects some dumb questions. Questions that have actually been answered

‘Well the power cords not plugged in’

or

‘You can’t pet your fish. Yes, its a pet, but it can’t BE pet.’

Even when its transcendentally retarded, we’re still expected to have most of the answers.

The duties extend. When I worked in customer service at a reputable pet store, for some reason, folks thought I was curious about their life story, like I gave a flying fuck about the sob story behind why you’re trying to replace your kids hamster and just how it ended up in the radiator.

 

Tell you one thing though. There’s no easy way to get out of those conversations without being a complete dick.

Anyway I..

..uh.

Hmm.

I had a very interesting child hood.

I always wanted a pet lizard. I think it had something to do with the Neverending Story, since I named the first little bearded dragon I got Falcor…but the glamor of lizard ownership isn’t all it cracked up to be.

In fact, its pretty fucking boring. Unless, of course, you’re fascinated by scaly disease carrying rocks that are VERY good at sitting still. Which, unfortunately, i’m not.

I suppose I didn’t really think the whole thing through. then again, when I was young, logic was one of the many things I wasn’t terribly skilled with.

It wasn’t all bad growing up in the 80s/early nineties, though. My generation was blissfully bereft of this reality TV shit that’s ruining the popular media. Jersey Shore being, in my opinion, one of the horsemen of the apocalypse.

Not that I've ever believed in killing children, but believe me...I was tempted

MTV wasn’t that great back then, but at least there was occaisonally music.

That’s all for today – tune in next time for ‘WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN’

I just know you're on pins and needles


Pick-me-up

When life gets you down, remember you've only yourself to blame, and things will only be getting worse from here