Just WAIT til I think of something clever. THEN YOU'LL SEE

The REAL Peter Pan

Prepare yourself children.

Remember when you were just a wee little kid, and you wanted Peter Pan to take you away to be together always? No? STOP JUDGING ME.


Either way, your wish can be answered, by one Randy Constan, internet entrepreneur extraordinaire, AKA Peter Fucking Pan. But don’t get your knickers in a twist ladies, he’s married.

“I’m 5 years old at heart, but the state of Florida says i’m 54.”

*sigh*. The good ones are always taken.

What does this vision of hope and purity contribute to the world? A better question: what doesn’t he do.

HA!

Fashion,

MEEE-oW

Charity fundraising,

Fuck Peter Pan, I'm calling you Santy Claws

MUSIC, which I haven’t the testicular fortitude to listen to all the way through,

Coding (ELFIN TECHNOLOGIES FOR LIFE),

And private appearances! WOA BOY I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING FOR MY BIRTHDAY

Just remember folks,

“All you need is faith and trust… and a little bit of pixie dust!” –Peter Pan

And possibly a restraining order

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