Just WAIT til I think of something clever. THEN YOU'LL SEE

All the answers

As a manager one expects some dumb questions. Questions that have actually been answered

‘Well the power cords not plugged in’


‘You can’t pet your fish. Yes, its a pet, but it can’t BE pet.’

Even when its transcendentally retarded, we’re still expected to have most of the answers.

The duties extend. When I worked in customer service at a reputable pet store, for some reason, folks thought I was curious about their life story, like I gave a flying fuck about the sob story behind why you’re trying to replace your kids hamster and just how it ended up in the radiator.


Tell you one thing though. There’s no easy way to get out of those conversations without being a complete dick.

Anyway I..



I had a very interesting child hood.

I always wanted a pet lizard. I think it had something to do with the Neverending Story, since I named the first little bearded dragon I got Falcor…but the glamor of lizard ownership isn’t all it cracked up to be.

In fact, its pretty fucking boring. Unless, of course, you’re fascinated by scaly disease carrying rocks that are VERY good at sitting still. Which, unfortunately, i’m not.

I suppose I didn’t really think the whole thing through. then again, when I was young, logic was one of the many things I wasn’t terribly skilled with.

It wasn’t all bad growing up in the 80s/early nineties, though. My generation was blissfully bereft of this reality TV shit that’s ruining the popular media. Jersey Shore being, in my opinion, one of the horsemen of the apocalypse.

Not that I've ever believed in killing children, but believe me...I was tempted

MTV wasn’t that great back then, but at least there was occaisonally music.

That’s all for today – tune in next time for ‘WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN’

I just know you're on pins and needles


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