Just WAIT til I think of something clever. THEN YOU'LL SEE

So sad…so sad

I’d like to say I’m a ladies man. A smooth criminal.

Recently, however, I’ve found things to be a bit…off…that assessment.

When I wake up in the morning, I’ll often spend a few minutes admiring the goods

…before hopping in the shower to wash off the shame and depression.

After I’m done scrubbing so hard you could see through to my soul I attempt to attire myself in a manner appealing to the opposite gender.

And when that too fails, its back to the safety of the internet, where I can meet a woman of my own caliber

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